"Don't Jump! (Desperate Chicken)" by Richard F. Yates

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Description:

Chicken Medium, always overshadowed by his younger brother, Chicken Little, became desperately unhappy one evening and climbed onto the roof of the Tenant Way Gas and Grub, contemplating the unthinkable---but luckily, Alex Fembone, nearly simultaneously, had suffered an attack of the munchies and had walked over to the gas station … (read more)

Chicken Medium, always overshadowed by his younger brother, Chicken Little, became desperately unhappy one evening and climbed onto the roof of the Tenant Way Gas and Grub, contemplating the unthinkable---but luckily, Alex Fembone, nearly simultaneously, had suffered an attack of the munchies and had walked over to the gas station to get some cookies and jo-jos!

Though Alex was staggering, just a bit, and trying with all his might not to trip over his own feet, he must have heard the sad, sobbing clucks of Chicken Medium as he stood on the edge of the gas station roof. "Whoa! It looks like there's a big chicken on top of that gas station... What was in that brownie???" Alex said---perhaps a bit too loudly. Chicken Medium looked down at the stumbling guy in the parking lot, then wiped a tear from his eye with a feathery wing.

"Hey! Big Chicken!!! Don't jump! We can talk this out, man!!" Alex shouted, deciding to go with the hallucination...just in case...

"Big?" said Chicken Medium. "You think I'm big?"

"Dude... You're GIANT! Like, SCARY BIG!" Alex said, then fell over backwards onto the ground.

"Hey man! Are you okay?" Chicken Medium jumped off the roof, flapped his wings a few times, and landed fairly lightly on the ground next to the guy, who was laughing but also clearly in pain... (Chickens can't really FLY with their wings, but they can glide just fine. In retrospect, jumping off a two story gas station probably wasn't going to be that dangerous for a bird...)

"This is the craziest shit I've ever seen," Alex said, rubbing a large---and getting larger---knot on the back of his head. He tried to sit up, awkwardly, and Chicken Medium helped him into a sitting position...

The friendship that blossomed in that parking lot on that extraordinary night lasted for several decades, with Chicken Medium and Alex eventually starting a successful pot shop together, and being the best man at each other's weddings. They can still often be found buying munchies in the middle of the night at various gas stations... The END???

---RFY (H.F.)


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